Life + Faith

Dear Office Crush

Dear Tall-Blond-Handsome Office Crush,

I’m so sorry you now probably-most-likely think I’m a total creeper, but I swear it was just a horrible series of unfortunate events that have culminated in my utter humiliation – and a blog post.

First of all, you are rarely in the office so the fact that this even happened is pretty hysterical when you think about it — but I really hope you’re not thinking about it, so never mind!

You see, what had happened was:

When I look into the hallway from my cubicle, through my cubicle windows, I can actually see the reflection of the giant windows behind me, so it’s really like I can ‘stare out the window’ without having to turn around to stare out the actual windows. I like to “stare out the windows” a lot, which I guess it part of my problem…

Unfortunately, that giant reflection creates a kind of ‘dead space’ in the hallway, which means that there’s a section of the hallway (about 3 seconds if you’re walking at a casual pace) where I can’t actually see anything except the reflection. But you wouldn’t know that, would you? No, all you saw was me ‘staring’ at you as you walked down the hallway. Staring at you, while licking my chapped lips.

cubicle photo

And I know you saw me, because I saw the smirk on your face as you ‘suddenly appeared’ out the other side of the reflection. I’m not sure if you also saw the look of horror on my face when I realized what had just happened, but I assure you sir, it was there in all it’s red-faced glory!

Let me say this again: I SWEAR I WASN’T STARING AT YOU AND LICKING MY LIPS!!!!

I’m lucky you’re not in the office that much (except for the last 3 days in which I’ve now seen you walk past my desk approximately 47 times)

Thanks for not calling HR to complain about me.

Sincerely,

The Girl with Really Pretty Eyes and a Great Smile Who is Totally Not Creepy At All

PS: I’m sorry you probably also caught me picking a boog…

PPS: I’m sorry you probably also caught me adjusting “the girls”

PPPS: Maybe you should walk the other direction to the restroom from now on… it will be better for both of us.

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5 Comments

  • Reply Rebekah April 30, 2014 at 9:17 pm

    Such a delight to find that I’m not the only idiot who does ridiculous things. Ask me about the super buff gym rats at my friend’s work. Proof I have no game face! PS not that you’re an idiot. Just refreshingly honest lol

    • Reply Tiffany May 2, 2014 at 3:01 pm

      Oh believe me, I felt like a giant idiot — and I’m sure it’s not over yet. Haha! I definitely want to hear about super-buff-gym-rats! :)

  • Reply EMILIO! May 31, 2014 at 6:47 am

    OMG this is hilarious! Though you should go talk to him and tell him this stuff! It’ll be a great topic to laugh about and will have him thinking of you and checking you out next time he passes by that ‘dead space’ again.

    #PortlandForLife

    EMILIO!

  • Reply Renee June 15, 2014 at 1:03 pm

    I came across your blog from Double Chin Diary and I just had to leave a comment saying this post cracked me up!!!

  • Reply The Gwynnie Bee Experiment | The Tiffany Project July 14, 2014 at 1:26 am

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