Dear Tall-Blond-Handsome Office Crush,
I’m so sorry you now probably-most-likely think I’m a total creeper, but I swear it was just a horrible series of unfortunate events that have culminated in my utter humiliation - and a blog post.
First of all, you are rarely in the office so the fact that this even happened is pretty hysterical when you think about it — but I really hope you’re not thinking about it, so never mind!
You see, what had happened was:
When I look into the hallway from my cubicle, through my cubicle windows, I can actually see the reflection of the giant windows behind me, so it’s really like I can ‘stare out the window’ without having to turn around to stare out the actual windows. I like to “stare out the windows” a lot, which I guess it part of my problem…
Unfortunately, that giant reflection creates a kind of ‘dead space’ in the hallway, which means that there’s a section of the hallway (about 3 seconds if you’re walking at a casual pace) where I can’t actually see anything except the reflection. But you wouldn’t know that, would you? No, all you saw was me ‘staring’ at you as you walked down the hallway. Staring at you, while licking my chapped lips.
And I know you saw me, because I saw the smirk on your face as you ‘suddenly appeared’ out the other side of the reflection. I’m not sure if you also saw the look of horror on my face when I realized what had just happened, but I assure you sir, it was there in all it’s red-faced glory!
Let me say this again: I SWEAR I WASN’T STARING AT YOU AND LICKING MY LIPS!!!!
I’m lucky you’re not in the office that much (except for the last 3 days in which I’ve now seen you walk past my desk approximately 47 times)
Thanks for not calling HR to complain about me.
The Girl with Really Pretty Eyes and a Great Smile Who is Totally Not Creepy At All
PS: I’m sorry you probably also caught me picking a boog…
PPS: I’m sorry you probably also caught me adjusting “the girls”
PPPS: Maybe you should walk the other direction to the restroom from now on… it will be better for both of us.